Monday, July 28, 2008

An Update of Sorts

So I have fallen into the ebb of the blogging drive for me. Oh it will come back again, I am sure of it... but lately I think I am going through depression. I am not sitting around saying "Oh whoa is me!". I have lost my will and drive to do anything but work and watch tv.

I am very moody and snappy and I am honestly not sure how to get out of this.

Since December so much has gone on in my life and it is taking it's toll.

I am not sure, but I suspect that my health is taking it's toll from this as well. Should my knee still be aching this much? I went to the store yesterday to pick up some food and about halfway through the store I noticed I was dragging my leg again as if I had the surgery two weeks ago.

But back to my drive, my motivation... it is almost completely sucked out of me. Things that used to bring my happiness and joy are shallow and empty. Food tastes like ash, sleep is restless and when I concentrate on work I cannot come up with anything innovative. My work, instead of being such a fun challenge is turning into monotony. I am cranking out good things, but I am just doing the normal work. I have not been thinking "How can I make this better?", I have been thinking "When is this going to be done?".

I do not like this. I just want to sit and watch tv, play video games and I have no strength to move.

I started to do something yesterday, I was folding laundry... and the wife came in to give me bad news about our lawn mower... what did I do? I shut off, spun around, gave up on laundry and fired up Call of Duty IV.

I am so stressed I am near paranoia.

What was that sound? Are clowns coming to eat me?
I apologize for my quietness.

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