Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Daily Reminder

So, I have to remember to look at everything good around me.

What I am about to write is in no way meant to be "tooting me own horn". It is not meant to make myself appear superior to anyone else.

No, it is a reminder to myself that my daily life becomes better and better with the understanding that there is good all around me.

Looking back to the hell of last year I see things now that I did not realize then.

  1. I have a strong and close knit family. I love my children and wife dearly and when I was at my lowest point.. they were there for me.

  2. I have an awesome job. I love the work that I do and I do a good job. People rely on me and seek out my opinion and guidance. I have a close working relationship with the managers, directors and supervisors.
Looking forward now, the wife and I are now out of all major debt with the exception of our mortgage. No credit card debt... hey, no credit cards either. No car payment... nothing financed. So much money has been freed up and with the economy the way it is, this will help.

In fact, speaking of the economy my family has had little to no impact. We live simply, our entertainment includes board games, video games, a NetFlix account.

The wife creates the best dishes from the most basic staples, so shopping has not changed for us.

And the kids are doing awesome in their home schooling... being that they are dyslexic the work books we bought have vastly helped their reading ability and my eldest two are able to test. Something I never could do and I did not realize I am dyslexic until a couple of months ago. I wish I had known this... I would have been able to get help and do better in school.

The wife is lovely as ever... she is thoughtful, kind, patient, understanding, smart, witty and she can keep up the alcohol consumption with me.

Fellas, let me tell you... I don't drink to get drunk... I drink to get a nice warm buzz and then I only drink to maintain it. The wife is a pro at this as well... it is good to always have someone who drinks with you, watches action movies with you, is just as goofy as you.

Her strength helps me.

Friday, March 6, 2009

The First Step was a Doozy.. I Cought on Fire, There were Flames and Smoke

I took some steps forward two weeks ago and then crashed, burned and fell on my face.

Oh I should perhaps talk about my intent. My intent is to find my spiritual home at this point... to find perhaps where it is God is taking me.

In the last year, I sought God, I yelled at God, I gave up on him... and then he gave me the old spiritual wake up back hand.

God powdered up his grooming hand and sent my head spinning.

So now, I am seeking the questions that I want answers to. Yes you read the correctly... I am no longer looking for the answers. Now I am seeking the questions themselves. I have to start somewhere right?

Two weeks ago I needed to find something. So I stumbled upon a website that dealt with religion and the geek that is me. The site was meant for all sects, branches and denominations of Christianity. At least that is what they wrote on their site, however age old animosities between branches pop up here and there. Especially in the form of self righteous condemnations towards Catholics.

Oh call me funny, so far all the doctrine of the Catholic church has made sense to me and has been sound and there is the fact that the wife and the kids are Catholic so my disappointment towards that community was pretty heavy.

I am perhaps tackling this all wrong.

Perhaps, and this idea is literally hitting me as I write this... perhaps I should find my questions and then ask various religious leaders those questions. This should, in sound theory through past experiences, lead me to new questions. This is a fantastic idea.

Now to contemplate the questions.